Chapter 67
The Difference in Scale
“I had a feeling it would be like that.”
“……”
Was it a feeling, or instinct?
Lacilia thought of Rescal sniffing out Pipi’s scent from her hand. When it came to his mate, his senses were frighteningly sharp.
“She returned today.”
“I see.”
Rustle.
A sound like someone brushing a closed door echoed.
“I want to see you.”
“……”
Instead of answering, Lacilia swallowed dryly.
When she heard those words just now, she could’ve sworn the spot with the mark grew warm.
“But I’m not asking you to show yourself. I know it’s not that simple.”
“That’s… true.”
“If I saw you, I’d want to touch you. And if I touched you, I’d want to kiss you… So no, I can’t.”
It wasn’t just a feeling—her marked area truly was heating up.
Lacilia flushed, quickly cupping her cheeks with both hands.
She had never experienced such a bewildering sensation before.
“But I do want to see you. …Desperately.”
It was best to change the subject.
Lacilia splashed water on her face and chose her next words.
“Ah… the shaman from Trinidad visited today.”
“What?”
His voice sharpened. It seemed he had no idea.
“Why? How? Why wasn’t I called?”
“There was no reason to worry Your Majesty. He came as a guest, so I treated him as such.”
“He’s suspicious. Can he be trusted? If he came as a guest, he should’ve approached through Decan or me, not secretly found his way to you.”
“That’s why he came himself. Because he knew Sir Horsed had put a tail on him. He appeared in person to request it be lifted.”
“You must’ve agreed. You’re far too generous. …I don’t like it.”
But Rescal’s voice didn’t sound angry—it was more like a sulky complaint. He didn’t seem upset at the shaman, but rather at Lacilia for granting someone else’s request.
“In exchange, he cast a spell of revelation on me.”
“A spell of revelation…?”
“He said it would lead me to the answer I seek.”
“I see.”
Rustle.
The bathroom door lightly trembled.
“Do you remember what I once said? That when you find the answer, you’ll understand how I feel.”
The words were similar, but the nuance was different. Lacilia chuckled softly.
“I believe I said once I find the answer, I’ll be able to feel the same way Your Majesty does. It’s a bit different.”
“How is it different? Sounds the same to me.”
“It meant that finding the answer is just the beginning.”
“Why?”
Rescal grumbled.
“I knew from the beginning that you were my mate. Why don’t you?”
“I wonder… Maybe there’s a reason.”
“I feel like I’m just waiting, every single day.”
Unfortunately, that may have been true.
There was a large gap in timing between their emotions.
But Lacilia knew—her feelings were changing, too, moment by moment.
She could only hope the emperor didn’t realize that yet.
If he did… he might get even more reckless.
The lines she’d drawn so carefully would be erased without a trace. They were already fading little by little.
“Am I handsome today?”
Rescal asked an oddly out-of-the-blue question.
“…Why do you ask?”
“Just checking. Riyan told me that beauty is another metric of emotion. If I look good to you, maybe the waiting won’t feel so long.”
“……”
Was the emperor handsome today?
She didn’t know how to answer.
I’d have to see him to know.
That alone showed how much things had changed. Before, she’d have brushed it off with a vague reply.
But now, she wanted to look at him—to give him an honest answer.
To say that he looked wonderful in her eyes. That he was fine. That he didn’t have to worry. That his wait would be short.
“I’d have to see for myself.”
“Then look.”
“But I’m in the bath.”
“And?”
“Maybe you could… close your eyes?”
“Ah… alright. I’ve closed them now.”
“Please stay like that.”
Click.
Lacilia rose from the tub. The towel wrapped around her was soaked with soapy water. She wrung out the hem and walked to the bathroom door.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Why did she want to entertain his absurd ideas? Why did she even feel a bit happy doing so?
“I’m going to open the door now… If you open your eyes, I’ll close it again.”
“Got it. I won’t look. Promise.”
“Then here I go.”
Creaaaak.
The bathroom door opened with a strangely bashful sound.
The emperor was sitting just outside, head slightly tilted toward her, eyes tightly shut.
He listens so well now.
Lacilia began tracing his distinct features with her eyes.
With his eyes closed, his face looked like a painting. It didn’t feel real to call him a living, breathing man.
“Are you looking?”
“Yes. I want to think about it a bit.”
The ends of his eyebrows drooped slightly.
“…Does it really take that much thought?”
It wasn’t thought. It was appreciation.
“Maybe.”
Lacilia gave a vague answer on purpose.
She didn’t know why. She just wanted to enjoy this moment a little longer.
Maybe Riyan was right.
The emperor with his eyes closed looked truly breathtaking—and watching him like this made her happy. Maybe beauty was an emotional metric.
“Still don’t know?”
“Mm… maybe not. I see your face every day. Hard to tell.”
“Not me.”
Rescal’s expression turned serious.
“I see your face every day, and every time I do, I know it’s beautiful.”
“……”
She’d meant it as half a joke—but it couldn’t stay one anymore.
Rescal was too sincere.
“And I know what beauty means. I know what that feeling means to me.”
Lacilia hesitated, then asked.
Somehow, she felt she’d hear something she wasn’t ready for. But she had to know.
“What does it… mean to you, Your Majesty?”
“That anything you do to me is welcome. I have no choice in the matter—whether it’s waiting or pain.”
Sometimes, Rescal spoke like he used a completely different version of the common language.
Lacilia hadn’t even known those kinds of meanings could exist.
“Have I… caused you pain?”
“Sometimes. …Often.”
“And that’s welcome?”
“Everything you give me is. Like I said—I have no choice.”
Behind his shut lids, his eyelids trembled.
“I really want to see you right now. I want to smell the new soap on you up close. The fact that I can’t right now… hurts. But that pain makes me happy, too.”
“……”
It was hard to understand how pain could turn to joy.
But Lacilia understood the feeling of wanting to do something for the person in front of her.
Because just now, she had the urge to touch his trembling eyelids.
“Then yes, I suppose Your Majesty’s feelings are very different from mine.”
“Probably.”
Lacilia reached out and stroked the corner of Rescal’s eye with her thumb.
He flinched.
“Why…”
“I just wanted to. …How different is that from your feelings?”
Rescal’s brow furrowed with a pained smile.
“Who knows… maybe not so different. Just smaller. If our positions were reversed, I wouldn’t stop at just touching your eyes.”
“Big and small, then. In that case, I think I understand.”
Lacilia tilted her head slightly.
Rescal twitched his nose—perhaps he caught her scent.
His eyes subtly changed in that moment.
Did he know?
That he also smelled good. That sometimes, she too wanted to lean in close and take in his scent.
They weren’t that different, really. Just in scale.
Maybe one day, we’ll be the same.
Because her feelings were already growing—bursting forth, moment by moment.
“Anything else you want to do? …Besides touching my eyes?”
Rescal asked softly, like a sigh.
“Maybe.”
“You might. Think about it.”
It was just like him to say something like that, and Lacilia let out a soundless laugh.
Even with his eyes shut, Rescal smiled in return.
Seeing his lips part like that, she suddenly wanted to kiss him.
And the urge didn’t startle her at all.
Maybe… I’ve wanted to ever since I touched his eyes.
Rescal had kept his eyes tightly shut all this time. That made her want to kiss him even more.
“I thought of something.”
“What is it?”
“I’m going to do it now, so please don’t move.”
“…As you wish.”
Rescal planted his hands on the floor. Veins bulged on his wrists.
Lacilia folded her knees and moved closer to him.
She cupped his head in both hands. His sleek blond hair slipped through her fingers—it was astonishingly pleasant to touch.
“What… is it you want to do?”
Rescal swallowed dryly as he asked.
“You’ll know soon enough.”
“No… please just tell me. If it’s not a kiss, I think I’ll be devastated after getting my hopes up.”
“Like I said, you’ll know very soon.”
“Haa…”
As she heard his hot sigh, Lacilia slowly stroked his hair.
“Oh no. It’s a kiss, isn’t it?”
Rescal whispered, and Lacilia leaned in.
Just as she lowered her head to press their lips together—
—He will bring you your end. On the day the binding you created shatters.
A voice echoed in her mind, like a curse placed on this very moment.
Her body froze. She couldn’t move.
He will bring your end. He will. To you.
Pain lanced through her chest.
Would he really drive a blade into her heart while he held still like this, just as she asked?
Were the emotions he was giving her now just an illusion created by sorcery? A lie meant to shatter?
Those thoughts bound Lacilia tightly. Her hand, which had been stroking his hair, slowly fell away.
The aching silence that followed was broken by Rescal.
“…Don’t.”
“…? Don’t what?”
“Don’t stop now.”
Rescal, who’d sworn not to move, broke his promise. He wrapped his arms around Lacilia, pulled her in, and captured the lips that had hesitated just before touching his.
“…Hh—”
A flood of unfamiliar, vivid sensations began.
The wet towel around her naked body rubbed against his robe with a damp sound.
A similar sound bloomed from their joined lips.
Ah…
The heat that began from him and spread to her skin began melting all her thoughts.
The end… …ah…
Even that thought—the one about the end—finally melted away and disappeared.
